The Open Door
One of my y0uth ministry instructors was a man by the name of Bob Rice. A gifted improviser, musician, and youth minister, Bob is currently a professor at the Franciscan University of Steubenville and has a blog that I try to follow on a regular basis. (In fact, I ‘borrowed’ his idea to try and blog twice a week.) One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen was Bob and Chris Padgett’s ”Hand Motions in Heaven” – a look at whether we’d be singing actions songs in the afterlife.
I am a big fan of Bob’s music. He writes music that is catchy and rich in meaning. About 10 years ago, he wrote a song called ‘The Open Door’ in response to a homily he had heard about the Jubilee Year we had in 2000 (which, you may remember, talked a lot about doors.) Anyway, I was watching Wheel of Fortune last night and couldn’t stop thinking about this song. Here’s the lyrics:
My soul it feels so weak, my heart withdrawn from fire
This holiness I seek, more like a wish than a desire
Throwing pennies into fountains when I should be climbing mountains
More like a game show contestant than a working man
But it’s deeper You are calling… Is it mercy that is falling?
On my own I can’t respond, but with Your grace I can.
Draw me through the open door, Let me answer this great call
I love a bit, let me love more, give me all of You
My voice can hardly speak, my feet consumed by the mire
Of the comforts that I seek, and the things that I desire
And I pray ‘Change things about me’, but I mean ‘Change my surroundings’
More like a game show contestant than a working man
But it’s deeper You are calling… Is it mercy that is falling?
On my own I can’t respond, but with Your grace I can.
Draw me through the open door, Let me answer this great call
I love a bit, let me love more, give me all of You
Cause you want all of me. Do I want all of You?
Or just the parts that don’t cause me to change?
And I cannot shake this feeling I’m in need of inner healing
But to get it I must give to you my deepest pain
Can you even bear my shame? Then draw me in.
Draw me through the open door, Let me answer this great call
I love a bit, let me love more, give me all of You
You can also listen to the song here: http://www.catholicmusicnetwork.com/cgi-bin/playclip_wma.asp?clip_id=50719track12.wma
There’s a lot that sticks out to me in this song… and I think it’s the ‘game show contestant’ line that was ringing true last night. I watched a guy win over $30,000 for a half hours time on Wheel of Fortune. Often, I wonder if I’m looking at my spiritual life like a game show: tossing a penny into a fountain and making a wish (all the while missing out on the heights God wants to take me to); or praying that God changes things in me (but I really just want Him to make my life easier.)
…but God isn’t just looking for my spare change, my extra time, or for me to be just a ‘good person.’ When the rich young man comes to Jesus asking what he should do to get to Heaven, Jesus answers that he needs to obey the commandments AND give up everything to follow Him.
So Lord, draw me in, too.
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